[Richard falls quiet as Silco keeps pushing the argument, pressing his lips together into disapproving line. He does not want to hear it.
However, it is not that he doesn't think that Silco isn't right. The God, if he truly exists, is nowhere nearly as merciful nor loving as the priests, bishops or vicars and what not would preach about. After all, Richard had only experienced the fear and the merciless wrath -- something that were reserved for sinners and criminals. A role that he had come to accept as his own long time ago.
And yet he keeps chaining himself up with this desperate hope, that just maybe he, too, could be welcomed to the paradise. So, he continues with these performances and hides away his true nature despite knowing very well it all to be for naught.
A small flame of anger flares within him as he watches Silco to pick up the bible. No doubt the man is only looking at it to annoy him further. But the Silco goes and takes yet another step outside of his comfort-zone by bringing up Joan. Of course, her presence had never been a secret to his lover, but for him to provoke an interaction by addressing her? Yeah, that was more than enough to trigger the anxiety in him.
The uneasiness washes over his expression, feeling his skin prickle underneath his clothing. He turns his head to look away at the altar and its lights , fighting through his discomfort. He breathes through his nose and tapping the wooden surface with his finger and then -- maybe for the first time in is life, he decides not to dismiss the comment but lean into it. Making Joan part of the shared reality rather than just his own.]
..You are the one she's making fun out of, actually. [He says, voice strained, yet in control.] If it's not heaven or hell, then where do you wish your soul to end up when all of this is over?
[Richard is actually quite surprised that Silco answered his question. Despite them letting each other close enough to see the hidden scars and pains from the past, there had always been a fine line of privacy that they both guarded from one another. The line had been a source of frustration, for sure, but it had also helped him to understand their limits of relationship.]
I am familiar with some of them. [Mostly just with Vi and Caitlyn, but he does remember one encounter with the boy named Ekko.] It seems like your opposition has grown with a quite number. But you are right. I do not think they can act in this world without burning themselves, too.
no subject
However, it is not that he doesn't think that Silco isn't right. The God, if he truly exists, is nowhere nearly as merciful nor loving as the priests, bishops or vicars and what not would preach about. After all, Richard had only experienced the fear and the merciless wrath -- something that were reserved for sinners and criminals. A role that he had come to accept as his own long time ago.
And yet he keeps chaining himself up with this desperate hope, that just maybe he, too, could be welcomed to the paradise. So, he continues with these performances and hides away his true nature despite knowing very well it all to be for naught.
A small flame of anger flares within him as he watches Silco to pick up the bible. No doubt the man is only looking at it to annoy him further. But the Silco goes and takes yet another step outside of his comfort-zone by bringing up Joan. Of course, her presence had never been a secret to his lover, but for him to provoke an interaction by addressing her? Yeah, that was more than enough to trigger the anxiety in him.
The uneasiness washes over his expression, feeling his skin prickle underneath his clothing. He turns his head to look away at the altar and its lights , fighting through his discomfort. He breathes through his nose and tapping the wooden surface with his finger and then -- maybe for the first time in is life, he decides not to dismiss the comment but lean into it. Making Joan part of the shared reality rather than just his own.]
..You are the one she's making fun out of, actually. [He says, voice strained, yet in control.] If it's not heaven or hell, then where do you wish your soul to end up when all of this is over?
[Richard is actually quite surprised that Silco answered his question. Despite them letting each other close enough to see the hidden scars and pains from the past, there had always been a fine line of privacy that they both guarded from one another. The line had been a source of frustration, for sure, but it had also helped him to understand their limits of relationship.]
I am familiar with some of them. [Mostly just with Vi and Caitlyn, but he does remember one encounter with the boy named Ekko.] It seems like your opposition has grown with a quite number. But you are right. I do not think they can act in this world without burning themselves, too.