Maybe seeing you out of wits every now and then would be worth it. [Seeing Silco in such a strong state of disorder and terror had also been horrible experience for Richard. It had wrung out some of old traumas and revealed a festering wound that simply refused to close. The memory of Henry from that night kept freezing him up and rendering him useless.
But at the same time the way things had ended up with Silco had managed to put some salve around that injury, cleaning around the edges and making it easier for Richard to breathe once again. The forest had been much more quiet ever since that. Something that had ultimately ended up with him and Joan to this church at the dead of the night.
He allows himself to be pulled closer and guided at the bench. The frown stayed on his face, but some of the harshness peels away as he considers Silco's question. Why did it indeed bring him fear to let his lover close and be involved in this part of his life? Silco is already more aware of his life than anyone else had been, so why does it make him despair to trust him with this hurt?
He then remembers Joan's accusations..]
..Because you are the only one who I do not want to hate me. [The words burst out of him unexpectedly, ending abruptly the growing silence from him. Honestly, they should not be too much of a surprise for either of them, but still they managed to carry an immense weight of a confession.
Richard had been alone ever since his birth and would continue to be alone until the day he dies. But here, in this strange world with its nightmares and otherwordly oddities, he thought that he could perhaps escape that fate. Perhaps that escape was Silco.]
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2025-01-19 11:26 pm (UTC)But at the same time the way things had ended up with Silco had managed to put some salve around that injury, cleaning around the edges and making it easier for Richard to breathe once again. The forest had been much more quiet ever since that. Something that had ultimately ended up with him and Joan to this church at the dead of the night.
He allows himself to be pulled closer and guided at the bench. The frown stayed on his face, but some of the harshness peels away as he considers Silco's question. Why did it indeed bring him fear to let his lover close and be involved in this part of his life? Silco is already more aware of his life than anyone else had been, so why does it make him despair to trust him with this hurt?
He then remembers Joan's accusations..]
..Because you are the only one who I do not want to hate me. [The words burst out of him unexpectedly, ending abruptly the growing silence from him. Honestly, they should not be too much of a surprise for either of them, but still they managed to carry an immense weight of a confession.
Richard had been alone ever since his birth and would continue to be alone until the day he dies. But here, in this strange world with its nightmares and otherwordly oddities, he thought that he could perhaps escape that fate. Perhaps that escape was Silco.]