[He wondered which of the questions had sent Richard into complete internalized self-reflection, and he supposed that he could guess. There was one subject that they both seemed to keep at arm's length, and yet, they proposed it now and again to see what the other would do. The slow knife tapping against the armour that they wrapped themselves in, seeking a weakness in the frame so that the blade could slip in and find the soft sensitive flesh beneath, to bleed, to hurt, to remember.
Humanity and most sentient creatures all needed the same thing: connection. It may be life-long or fleeting, but in togetherness, they found a comfort that isolation tore away and ground to dust. Could love be found in the darkness? He actually believed it was possible, but it would be hot like a forge - uncomfortable - and cold like frozen steel. It would be sharp, painful, made on broken and repaired frames, teetering with jealousy, possessiveness, desperation. It was tainted and ugly like them, a shattered cracked mirror with a kaleidoscope of tiny broken moments.
Love was an unbearable weakness when found in the dark. It was deadly.
His hand followed Richard once it was dropped, settling on the small of his lover's back and stroking affectionately up to between shoulder then back down again. He dug his fingers in lightly through the fabric of Richard's clothing, absently repeating the gesture over and over again. The question paused his fingers for a moment before they returned to their affectionate stroking up and down Richard's back.]
When I was a weak man, yes. [He could admit that much.] It blinded me, softened my spine and left me open for betrayal. [Vander, Felicia. He had loved them both in very different ways, her like a sister, the life of a party who danced and laughed freely, challenged him to fulfill the dream. And him who he had loved strong enough it took his breath away and... well, they were dead now. He'd outlived them all. He reached up and softly drew his fingers down the left side of his face.] The one I loved gave me this. Then love turned to hatred but then... if he hadn't softened and remained weak, I wouldn't have had to kill him.
[A soft sigh as issued from between his lips. A part of him never stopped loving that man, his brother, his rock, his betrayer...]
no subject
Humanity and most sentient creatures all needed the same thing: connection. It may be life-long or fleeting, but in togetherness, they found a comfort that isolation tore away and ground to dust. Could love be found in the darkness? He actually believed it was possible, but it would be hot like a forge - uncomfortable - and cold like frozen steel. It would be sharp, painful, made on broken and repaired frames, teetering with jealousy, possessiveness, desperation. It was tainted and ugly like them, a shattered cracked mirror with a kaleidoscope of tiny broken moments.
Love was an unbearable weakness when found in the dark. It was deadly.
His hand followed Richard once it was dropped, settling on the small of his lover's back and stroking affectionately up to between shoulder then back down again. He dug his fingers in lightly through the fabric of Richard's clothing, absently repeating the gesture over and over again. The question paused his fingers for a moment before they returned to their affectionate stroking up and down Richard's back.]
When I was a weak man, yes. [He could admit that much.] It blinded me, softened my spine and left me open for betrayal. [Vander, Felicia. He had loved them both in very different ways, her like a sister, the life of a party who danced and laughed freely, challenged him to fulfill the dream. And him who he had loved strong enough it took his breath away and... well, they were dead now. He'd outlived them all. He reached up and softly drew his fingers down the left side of his face.] The one I loved gave me this. Then love turned to hatred but then... if he hadn't softened and remained weak, I wouldn't have had to kill him.
[A soft sigh as issued from between his lips. A part of him never stopped loving that man, his brother, his rock, his betrayer...]