conflictresolution

[There was something sad to how they both seemed to held such low expectations for themselves, coated in a thick layer of self-loath. Richard, too, wouldn't be least surprised if Silco were to all of sudden change his mind, jump back in disgust and declare Richard a demon. After all, Henry had done so too--

No. Richard bites down on his lower lip, chasing away any horrors of the past and the icy spear of rejection aiming at his heart. He should not think of that. Not now that he was finally warm again, feeling a breath against his lips as he as claimed by another body. Accepted and held as if it was the most natural thing to do. Right. Nothing else mattered at the moment but the pleasure running through his veins, sparking fire and electricity all around his muscles.]

Silco.. [Richard moans the man's name as he responds to the man's movements, stretching his neck to the side, bucking his hips up and rocking his body under the man, seeking for more friction. More of the overwhelming bliss that threatened to implode him any moment now.

There's a sharp yelp of surprise when he felt the sensitive spot inside him struck again, making his knees bent around Silco's body and his grip on the man's back tighten -- holding him as if his life depended on it. And in a way, it sure did feel like it.

A small puddle of precome and sweat had already pooled on top of his lower abdomen, along with the slick wetness having increased between his legs. Between their labored breathing, grasps for air and suffocated moans and occasional bed creaking, Richard can hear the almost obscene wet slap as the flesh pounded against the flesh. All of the sounds joining each other in the orchestra of lust made Richard feel a bit dizzy in the head, almost drunk with desire as his body kept yearning for more.

Richard does take a notice of the change of Silco's pace, feeling how his thrust became more eccentric and heavy. Then he could feel the tightening of muscles beneath his fingertips. Of course he knew what it all meant and what would come next, but still the sudden burst of hot liquid managed to catch him off-guard.]

A-ah! [Richard groaned as the warmth filled him, bucking his hips down while also clamming his trembling muscles around the spent cock inside.]

[He had always expressed such a moment - especially after a long time between - as simutaneously being struck by lightning and have fireworks in one's mind. With those he paid, it was fine but nothing quite like this where the bone deep exhaustion was chased away, and there was nothing beyond this person, this place and this moment. It was stupid to think that way, but in the moment, he indulged to the fullest.

He shuddered and groaned Richard's name against the younger man's neck as he felt those walls tighten around his cock as he released himself. His brain was entirely on autopilot, providing a vulnerability no one alive and certainly no one here had ever seen before as he breathed hard against Richard's sweaty neck. His hips provided little jumpy grinding thrusts as he rode the orgasm to its full tenure.

Yet, he shifted just enough get a hand between them to grasp Richard's cock and stroke the other through the experience as well. He lifted his face from Richard's neck so he could lean in to capture the younger man's mouth in an awkward kiss; he generally was not one to initiate so doing so was something he might have to remind himself how to do, especially outside of the heat of intimacy.

Let them both enjoy this as who knew what the morning might bring.]

You're beautiful... [He whispered such against Richard's lips, as if he were sharing a secret. Because the younger man was attractive to him.]

[Sex had always more or less walked the fine line between pain and pleasure to Richard. Damnation and salvation, death and rebirth. Buckingham had always known how to pick him apart, melt the hard and cold exterior, cutting down the suffocating thorns. All so that what lied underneath the layers of self-doubt, hatred and resignation could be free. And while it was truly unfair to all parties to compare the two men to each other, but there was no denying that there was something similar. Both Buckingham and Silco were able to disarm him fully, make his body bend along theirs while dragging something deep and hidden out from within him.

Richard's body spasmed on all of it's own, seeking for the release that was dangling right in front of him. It knew what it wanted and was ready to reach for it without any shame. It is the moment like these when Richard felt like he was in the brink of the death, only to be reborn from the ashes of the husk left behind by the old him.

The feverish lips against his neck, repeating his name like a prayer and hand returning to stroke him while he still was being filled to the brink were almost too much for him. He peeked beneath wet bangs, sticking to his forehead, and he could swear he saw the room spin a bit. But the threatening trees with their threatening claws stayed away. No, this was wholly different kind of madness.

But it was lips returning against his own, demanding and controlling his attention that truly did him in. As the praise was whispered Richard could feel his throat tighten uncomfortably and stinging sensation burning his eyes. He closed his eyes tightly shut, bringing his injured hand to cover his face. And then with a stifled sound, one reminding a held back sob, he couldn't hold it together, spilling for the second time during the night.

It seems like tonight he was finishing with a whimper, not a bang.]

[In his experience, one way to lose future opportunities was being selfish between the sheets. That was a lesson taught early in life given his exposures to the often open sexual exploits of others. Perhaps for some that was an acceptable habit, but his opportunities were so few and far between these days that he was instinctively calculating how to increase his percentages for this occurring again when both himself and possibly Richard were in better states of mind. It was also a waste to work this hard and not have a bed partner finish regardless of how tired he was.

Besides, the way that Richard responded kept him focused, and as he pumped that cock in his hand, he didn't believe it would take long for a completion. His prediction on that front was true, though the way that Richard covered his face this time sent a brief ripple of concern before he heard that sound and warmth coating his hand again as the younger man came, making a mess of them both. Job well done then?

As he softened, he allowed his breath and heart rate to slow to something normal. The crushing weight of pain from his feet and exhaustion wrapped him up, and he thought he could collapse right there on top of Richard and sleep. The thought that rejection was on the horizon, and he'd be sleeping on the floor or worse. So, he pre-emptively eased his weight off of Richard and sat up on the bedding. He reached over with his clean hand to caress dark hair back from covering the younger man's eyes.]

I'll get us cleaned up, alright?

[It might give them a few seconds to compose themselves and consider the ramifications of what they had done. He thought it would give Richard opportunity to consider where to put him for the night as well. Though, he instantly regretted easing from bed to his feet and nearly fell over. He would not humiliate himself any more tonight if he could help it.

So, he tottered off, grabbing some linen - even if it was simply Richard's shirt - to bring back to the bed where he could gently clean the mess of their activities off of their bodies.]

[The sheer force of the orgasm crashing on him is enough to make Richard forget himself for a moment and lose the track of his own body. He allows his hand fall back on the mattress from his face, mismatched eyes blinking open, staring at the ceiling without truly seeing. His body runs with an autopilot on, catching the breath and pulse slowly returning back normal from the heights it had reached just a mere seconds ago.

However, his awareness is dragged back by a touch of fingers brushing through his damp hair. He hears the voice but it takes a moment before he can decipher the meaning of the words. Richard blinks twice or so in confusion, lips parting to let out a rather undignified "huh"-sound. Then he feels the mattress shift beneath of him as Silco pulls away and suddenly Richard's fully back, remembering where he is.

He prompts himself up with his elbows and watches the man struggle a bit. While he's far from being in any better condition, considering how sore his own limbs just felt, but there was something almost endearing to see the other one swaying lightly on his feet.]

The fire. [he suddenly remembers as Silco returns, unbothered by having his cloth being repurposed.] We need to add more wood to the fire.

[He returned to the bed, wiping off the moisture residue from their sex and then he could only provide a withering look at the mention of the fire. He turned his head to regard the hearth, and the distance seemed almost insurmountable with the pain cramping his calves at this point. It was barely two steps further than he had gone previously, but that was beyond the point now. However, Richard was right that it required more wood to last until morning.]

Of course we do. How many logs should be added? We don't... use fire like that where I'm from.

[He still made a point and tossing the repurposed shirt onto Richard as he slowly turned and had to hobble away from the bed towards the hearth. He hoped it didn't look as bad as it felt - it did - and he had to kneel to avoid collapsing as he stocked logs into the fiery stone maw. He wasn't cold any longer, but he didn't deny it was nice to feel such raging heat against his bare skin.]

[Unfortunately for Silco, it is exactly as painful to look at as it must be feeling. Enough to make Richard move on the bed. He tosses his shaky legs over the edge and stops to hesitate for a quick moment. It did feel weird for him to get up and go after Silco in his current state, without having any fabric to protect him, despite what they had just gone through together. Richard had dared Silco to look at him just a few moments ago, making the man accomplice in his secret. But now that boldness was gone and what was left was uncertainty and loathing for his own appearance.

However, his eyes do land on the blanket that he had offered the man earlier lying on the floor near the fireplace. Pushing past any fatigue or weariness, Richard quickly slid off the bed and made his way to pick up the said blanket, pull it over himself to cover his frame.]

Allow me. [He said, moving next to Silco and place one hand on top of his forearm.] You can't add too many nor too few. Otherwise the fire will not be able to hold its form. You'll have to know how to read the flames. [And with that he adds one more log amongs the red flames, setting it on the side rather than piling it on top of the rest of the wood.]

[If he noticed Richard's hesitation to rise from the bed in the nude, he didn't show it. Silco was, of course, confident in his own nudity, especially when it came to someone who had earned some of his trust. He turned his head when Richard did rise, too tired to fight the quizzical expression on his face when the blanket was picked up and draped over the body he had just laid with.

He shook his head, expecting it was something to do with old habits or something similar. He didn't take offense as Richard came to join him by the fire, and he instead took the opportunity to lean their shoulders together as he learned how to stock a hearth. It was different from the mines and smelting processes after all, but he was willing to learn.]

A skill I'm not proficient at. [He said it without shame.] For sleeping arrangements, would you prefer I remain on the floor, or would you be willing to share the bed? [His eye was already drooping now that the post-coital bliss had loosened his muscles.]

[There is a quick tension in his shoulders when Silco seeks contact with him again. But the moment passes in a blink of an eye and Richard finds himself relaxing against the man, a small smile forming on his lips as he tended to fire.]

It is an useful skill. One that may as well one day safe your life. [Even though Richard had learned by now not to expect there to be much similarities between their worlds, but it still baffled him to some decree to find out how... lacking some of the people here were with the basic knowledge. How to create a fire and nurture it was something that everyone ought to know, be they peasant or high born. Unless they were particularly sheltered. Even his own son, as meek and gentle he was, would eventually learn it, Richard's sure.

If Silco had been confused by Richard's earlier moments of fear and seeking out the pain, now it was Richard's turn to be taken aback by such a question. Did he really think he was going to send him away now? In a moment like this, after all that they just went though? Richard can feel his chest tightening, feeling a more heavy at the question presented him. Guess he wasn't the only one who feared rejection.

Richard slid his fingers along Silco's forearm, dragging them down until he could wrap them around the man's hand. He then, pulled it closer as he watched the man with soft eyes.]

Come.

Edited 2024-07-28 14:22 (UTC)

Perhaps. Forests are common in the sister city to mine, but not my city. We live underground.

[It was why Silco could see so well in the dark, and he could see the benefit of stocking a fire properly. Did he use fire in his own home? No. It was not something he gravitated to, but it was interesting to see that Richard used it as the main source of heating for this place. If they were see each other again in the cabin, he expected he was going to learn a lot about building fires like this. As Richard said, it might be useful if he was trapped out in the woods someday, which sounded rather awful in his books.

He noted the look on Richard's face to his seemingly innocent question, but he wasn't going to assume anything. Many people had sex and walked away from each other; sleeping next to someone was very intimate in his mind as it showed an ultimate vulnerability. Sleep was when everything could go wrong. Besides, sleeping in an actual bed was not something he did often, preferring to sleep sitting up in a chair to come awake faster and primed to defend himself.

His eyes dropped do the fingers stroking his bare forearm until their hands came together. He tightened his fingers in response and nodded his head. He used his free hand to set to the floor so he could get to his damaged feet, wavering a moment before he turned to Richard.]

A moment?

[His free hand reached out to shift the blanket that Richard had currently draped over himself so he could expose some of the younger man's body again. His mismatched eyes observed the exposed skin, and he nodded his head.]

Your body is your own, and you only have to hide it from me if you truly want to. [He took a step forward to bring their bodies close together.] I enjoyed your defiance as you revealed it to me. Defy, Richard.

[It wasn't that Richard was unfamiliar with the concept of quick sex, one that would end in both parties leaving their separate ways. He had seen it happen plenty in the camps where soldiers would spent all their leftover energy and highs from the battles on women they could find. Edward surely had partaken in such activity more than once, carelessly leaving his legacy vulnerable.

But this hadn't been like that. At least not to Richard. He would not turn the man around and show him the door just because the deed was done, like one would do with a prostitute. While Richard wasn't foolish enough to lean into illusion that they had reached something big and world altering feeling of love or any other ridiculous bullcrap like that. But there had been something -- a bond of trust as they came together by finding unity in their own scars. Both emotional and physical.

And then there was the more selfish side of him. As Richard knew that there was no way he could return to that bed all alone. Not now that after he had been held and shown the warmth of another body.

Richard gets up from the floor along with Silco, holding his hand on his own. Once they're back up in their feet Richard is about to turn around and lead them back to bed but is stopped by the hand gently pulling on the blanket draping over his shoulders. His eyes widen at the words, a distressed shock washing over his features before settling in something that could be described as raw. Vulnerability, hope, earning. His lips part as he tries to get a word out but it feels there's a weight on his chest holding him back.

Such unsightly, disgusting body.

To wit, an indigested and deformed lump./i>

Richard tips his head forward, leaning his forehead on Silco's shoulder and whispers out a shy request.] Then touch it more.

[This was not the intimacy that he engaged it when he actually enjoyed someone's company. It had been a long time, and he hadn't known what he had been thinking would happen when he had decided to follow the boar here, but this hadn't topped his list at all. It was the most pleasant of surprises, and he had yet to regret that decision. Perhaps in the morning.

It had been a long time since he had slept in a bed, even longer with another person. Once they made it there, would it be best to remain apart or come together to be close?

He tilted his head at the look of shock on Richard's face, and he stepped in to close the distance between them. His hand lifted to cup the back of the younger man's head as that forehead rested against his shoulder, and his other hand released the grip that it had on Richard's so he could curl his arm around the younger man's waist.]

As you request. Let's get into bed before I can't walk there. [He moved to direct them both towards the bed, feet aching and moving as if he were walking on hot coals.]

[Richard stays there, face buried in the crook of Silco's neck as he leans himself against the taller body, accepting and welcoming the embrace. Maybe, just maybe, he could leave his demons behind and be freed from the self-hatred that kept poisoning his body and mind.

There was no light to be found here. But that didn't bother Richard. He had found someone like him, seeking for the comfort within darkness. And that is more than enough for now.

A quiet chuckle leaves from him when Silco reminds them of his state. The man must be exhausted and yet still found strength to hold him.]

Shall I be the one to carry you, this time. [He says as he withdraws away from the embrace, looking slightly apologetic that he's kept the man up despite his clear fatigue and pained state.

Richard follows Silco back to the bedroom area. And as if in reverse to their previous actions, he waits for the other to settle down first before joining him and climbing on top of his body, the blanket sliding off him and pooling down around their legs.

[Perhaps in their darkness they had found a kindred spirit. It was too much to ask honestly; even in Zaun, his methods and ideas had chased away the only person who had seemed like they might want him. It became a constant to avoid that kind of engagement, and yet here he was with Richard doing exactly that after decades of avoidance.]

I will take a raincheck on the carrying this time. Perhaps in the future?

[He made his way to the bedroom and gratefully eased down onto the mattress, stretching out on his back. He felt the mattress dip with Richard's weight a moment later, yet he briefly startled when the younger man climbed on top of him. So much for asking about how Richard liked to sleep then. Close it was.

He peered up at the younger man, and he didn't hesitate to slide both of his hands up Richard's front, lightly pinching nipples teasingly. Some of his exhaustion faded with the sight, even as his hands slid back down until he could reach around to grasp Richard's ass.]

You don't have the look of a man ready to sleep....

[Richard climbs up on top of Silco with an ease and graceful movement, intending to keep their bodies as bound and connected. It's as if he was afraid that the magic of the moment would disappear immediately if they were to let go and allow distance to swarm between them. It is the ancient memory of the abandonment, of a hand letting go of his, that keeps lurking in the back of his mind.

But the fear is once again, thwarted by a soothing hand sliding down his chest. The brief pinch on his nipples makes Richard inhale sharply and close his eyes, leaning into those fingers as he sits up to properly straddle on top of the older man's lap.

He reaches his own hand forward, the slender fingers returning to circle around the round scars on his chest.]

Tell me about these.

[When it was apparent that Richard was going to remain seated and perched on top of him, Silco stretched out his legs and shifted his upper body to nestle into the mattress comfortably. He wasn't certain if the intention was for this to return to another round of intimacy, and he wasn't yet willing to ask outright either. It was clear that they were both feeling out the situation for themselves, the newness of the change of their situation palpable.

His eyes dropped to follow Richard's fingers, and he knew without actually having to see which scars the younger man was referring to. It sent a shiver through him at both memory and contact with them.]

Those are gunshot wounds. I suffered them both before arriving here. Do you have firearms where you're from?

[The fingers keep curiously gracing over the scar tissue, mapping the area and committing it to memory. Richard had been introduced to the concept of firearms upon his arrival to this world. It seemed like most of the people in Aldrip favored the weird new weapon over sword or a hatchet.]

No. We do not. [He answers, voice idle and eyes focused as he presses his palm flat on top of the other's chest, fingers spread wide. Richard then moves his hand down along the rib cage, curiously adding a little pressure as if to see whether he could feel the bones underneath the skin. The hand slides down to Silco's stomach, trailing to his navel.

There's a pang of jealousy in Richard's mind as he keeps exploring the body positioned under him. Silco might not be broad shouldered nor posses the muscles of steel, but still, despite all the imperfections, it was still firm and strong. Clearly a male -- something that could perhaps endure the light of the day.

Richard leans forward, his back arching into a crescent shape , as he bends over to press his lips on Silco's chest, kissing the scars.]

[He had most sensation with the scar and surrounding area, and it did remain tender if too much pressure was applied. He expected it had more to do with the bone damage that he had suffered as the result of the bullets tearing through him, but it didn't matter anymore. They had healed enough to be little more than a reminder of how he had died.]

My city can't afford firearms, but my daughter has a leaning towards them. I'm functional with them, but it might be worthwhile for you to learn about their usage. [Perhaps in that seemingly nonchalant explanation the reason for his death could be ascertained.] Your preferred weapon is the sword or the bow?

[His hands slide back around to stroke Richard's thighs, up and down, up and down slowly. He enjoyed the attention to his chest, realizing it had been a long time since he'd had any manner of aftermath to intimacy before Richard. There was something to be stated about the simplicity and trust of such touch, the feel of those warm hands with their worn callouses against his skin.

Yet, he wasn't so relaxed as to not note the look in Richard's eye. His blue eye fluttered closed as Richard leaned over to kiss his scarring.]

You hate your body that much, hmm?

[He knew he wasn't the wide, solid, robust specimen of male. Most in the Undercity were not, usually for nutritional reasons, but he had achieved a healthy six-feet in height and had defined male features. He had that benefit, but he rather liked looking at Richard's seemingly mismatched body. There was always something to investigate about it.]

Sword. [While it was generally mandatory for a knight to master both of the weapons it was swordmanship that more often than not what they consider a true proof of ones skills. It's more versatile and intimate weapon, not to mention more practical. Richard himself also preferred the blade over arrows, as it forced him right into midst of the battle, allowing him to feel every death he brings up and close.

Richard keeps pressing kisses around the scarred around, varying between chaste pecks and more intense and open mouthed. He's just about to move lower and follow the previous path set by his fingertips. But when Silco speaks again he stops, muscles tensing up again.

Yes. He absolutely loathes his body, and honestly couldn't imagine anyone who wouldn't feel anger and resentment towards themselves if they were like him. Never truly able to join others in the light, always treading the lonely paths in the dark. He wondered whether Silco was same as him. Maybe the man was pushed by similar demons that ate through his mind, trying to carve the power and light for himself. ]

As do you. [He whispers against the skin, a small defeated sadness creeping to his voice. Richard then shifts again, straightening his legs and lifting himself up enough that he can lean his forehead against Silco's shoulder.] Touch me more.

[He nodded his head, having seen Richard practice with the sword many times in the forest, even if he didn't stop to talk with the younger man. He wondered at the carnage that the younger man would create in the streets of his city or even in Richard's own battles of the realm. He had no doubt that there was a determination that was frightening, and he made a mental note to ask more about the younger man's exploits in battle.

His attention remained on the kisses, and he stroked a hand over the scarred shoulder, encouraging the continuation. If Richard wasn't careful, the younger man either could put him to sleep and stir his desire again. He didn't know which he wanted more right now either, but that moment was fleeting as he felt the stiffness in Richard's body.

He'd ruined the moment, hadn't he? This was what he earned for speaking when tired.

He couldn't relate to the struggle honestly. Silco had been born male, grown up male and lived a very male life. However, he'd been around more than a few people in his city who had changed their chosen gender or had been a little similar to Richard. One had describe the experience of wrongness and self loathing until the change had been made where they could be pleased with themselves.

His hand lifted to cup the back of Richard's head as it came to his shoulder. He remained silent as his fingers laced in that dark hair, providing a limited comfort even as he acquiesced to the request. His other hand moved up Richard's thigh to stroke the younger man's back with long firm strokes of his hand.]

I don't, actually. [He whispered back, his face turned to press his lips against Richard's ear.] I find you as you are very attractive. It is different, yes, but there is nothing about you hideous to my eyes.

[Richard would very much like not to believe that statement. He had seen the traces of self-deprecation in the man during their prior encounters, it was mixed in with the layered sadness and anger -- the making of a monster. But maybe that hatred was located elsewhere under the surface.

The words spike a sting on his chest, suffocating him a little. For most of his life Richard had hated the word "different", hoping that he would be just like everybody else. In a way he still did, but he had also found strength in himself because who he is. What makes him different is what makes him strong, capable to reach for the forbidden light and defy the faith itself. But... to link all that to attractiveness? That wasn't something he was used to, leaving him speechless.

Silco's touch is comforting and it manages to smooth out the ripples of his doubt. Richard's eyes flutter closed and he curls up further in against Silco's chest, his own hands loosely wrapping around his waist. He wasn't tired a moment ago, but all of the sudden he feels the emotional fatigue spread over his body as he becomes boneless and relaxed. It had been a long night, for both of them -- but especially to Silco, he thinks.

His breathing begins to slowly even and turn more calm as the sleep threatens to cover him with night's veil, trying to claim him for himself. "Please, let it be alright. Just this once", Richard quietly pleads in his mind, begging for a night free of nightmares and other terrors.]

[Silco embraced the word 'different', just like almost everyone else in his city. It was a point of pride, a word they grabbed hold of with both hands and flaunted in the face of their oppressors. There was no room for vulnerability and weakness out in the open, but to be different was a fact that everyone who grew up and even visited Zaun could understand. For him, it was a high compliment, a little encouragement to embrace what it was that made Richard strong, unique and pretty.

He welcomed the younger man down on his chest, curling an arm around Richard's waist as the other groped to pull the blanket up and over them both. He had no sense of shame to sleeping in the nude, least of all with a sexual partner, but he knew that he was bound to be cold once that fire burnt itself out. So it mostly covered them both with as much effort as he was willing to put into it.

Once the blanket was in place, he threw the one arm over his eyes to cast his vision in darkness. He was exhausted and his body was a pleasant sluggish from sex, so it took him a matter of minutes to fall into a deep slumber. One thing he did not do was relinquish his grip on Richard even if they moved around in the bed while sleeping, his body naturally gravitating to a bedmate to remain close. It was all more than he could have asked for.]

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