['i've watched this dance before.' those words twist in her a different way, not in a harmful way, but over the fact that silco was there during her time with quentin, and how it all fell apart.
he didn't need to back then, he could have been like mylo and pointed a finger to tease how he was right all along. but her father comforted her, and helped her get back on her feet. jinx is still stumbling, of course, but at least her legs aren't as wobbly. his daughter ducks her head down, the automatic voice hanging itself up after not receiving a response on what to do next, and it left the room to swallow up in silence. that is, until... ]
... We kissed.
[ she admits finally, reaching over a crayon to idly roll around on the table. ]
He was saying a lotta things and... it got me... weak. I guess. But I told him no. That I didn't want to be with him. And I stand by what I said.
[She didn't know because the Council had taken her memories of the events, but he knew she had told him about the other Ekko. The boy hadn't stayed long, but he had impacted her and started this whole 'interest in boys' phase that she was in. Yet, of the two dalliances, he would actually prefer Ekko over Quentin.
He made a soft noise of acknowledgement as the full truth was dragged out of her. He didn't intend for her to feel the need to speak further of it, but her impulsiveness paired with her fear of abandonment usually pushed such things out of her sooner than later.
Yet, his gaze sharpened and his head tilted to the side as he steepled his fingertips together.]
You told him no? Before or after this... kiss?
[No one took advantage of his daughter. He would see them in tiny pieces, and he would be certain to do that personally.]
[ her cheeks burn again, and she chews on her bottom lip knowing she'll have to talk about the whole incident in order to answer his question in full. jinx clears her throat, then averts her gaze back to the crayon she's toying with. ]
He confessed he has feelings for me. That he always had feelings for me. [ jinx loosely shrug a shoulder as she chuckles weakly. ] — Heh, and I, uh, thought he was joking. Y'know, just... trying to trip me up or something. But he said that he wasn't, and... he never wanted to fight me in the first place.
[ her tongue feels so swollen as she attempts to elaborate that day, and she moves her hand away from the marker to have her hands rest neatly in her lap. ]
Then he asked if... if I felt something, and I... — I mean, I've always felt some kind of something with him. This attraction or whatever. Like I don't want anyone else to hurt him, but me. Or... touch him. 'Cause I was first.
Then he just... got closer and closer to me.
[ steadily, her hand moves up to grab a handful of her straight locks, idly combing it through her fingers with her tone curling into a fairy tale like pitch. ]
He said that, we could just start over here, and all he wants to do is to hold me... and kiss me. But I told him, that he would just leave me or-or hurt me in the end, and we couldn't... be together. I said if he kisses me, it means everything was real, and it all means something.
[ jinx pauses as she thinks back, her breath carefully leaving her lips while staring off to nowhere in particular, and vacantly combing through her hair still. ]
He said he would never hurt me... and he'll prove that he's real and everything he felt... was real. So then he...
[ the pinks of her eyes glisten as she takes herself back to that exact moment, being physically present but not present at the same time. ]
[He listened to her detailing the scenario which lead up to the scene that he had seen in both video and pictures, receiving valuable context for that. He did not find that his assumptions about the scenario had been too far off, but he felt off about the timing. The boy had only recently arrived, and given the previous history...
Of course, Silco was the hated target, wasn't it? The boy had accused him of brainwashing and manipulating his daughter. It was not the first time such notions were leveled at him. It was that or that his daughter compromised him and made him weak. The people here would likely be in full belief that he was the problem when it came to Jinx.
He nodded his head, easing back into his chair. There did not seem to be as much untoward as he would have liked, but that didn't mean that he was pleased to hear that there would be aggressive pursuit of his daughter. Maybe she actually had the right idea and they should vet each other's interest. Or just not have them at all.]
I see. Facts of the past speak differently regarding him hurting her. However, you said you couldn't be together with him. Why?
[ his question brings her out of her pipe dream, and her expression falls downhearted while wrapping a few strands of her hair around her index finger. ]
... Because I know if he ever finds out we have Shimmer, he'll try to get rid of it. We'll just go back to how things were. There's no... starting over.
[ there's another reason, too, and she builds up the courage to be truthful. ]
I know you don't like him, and I want to be with someone who you approve of, who you'll like. ... Being with him will hurt you, and I've done enough of that already.
[It was true, and the benefits of Shimmer in this place were quickly rising. Jinx needed it to maintain herself, and he had his own needs. As a rule, he didn't use it more than he had to, but he had intention of giving a vial to Miller for his daughter. There was also Levi who seemed to have certain cruxes that he was noticing more and more.
Everyone from their world would disapprove of Shimmer being here; it was why he kept it secret for himself. Jinx was a bit more flagrant with it, but she had a far higher dose in her bloodstream than he did.]
He is welcome to try, but so far we have been fortunate to gain more. Still, it is a point of contention that will come to a head I expect.
[Silco regarded her silently at her reasoning, and he looked off across the house. He tapped his fingers lightly against his thigh as he considered.]
Our dislike is mutual, I imagine. There are very few that I approve of. What do you want?
[ she admits, voice turning frail and meek as she shifts in her seat to pull her legs up to embrace with. a part of her wants to cry, weirdly enough, but she blinks away any that might leak from the corner of her eyelids. ]
I don't know what I want, 'cause everything is so... — [ his daughter stops, deciding to rephrase her explanation. ] — First this fight with Ange, and I don't know how I'm supposed to be around her or act, t-then you and Vi dying, then you doing... stuff with someone here, and then Ekko doing this, then the stupid infection, and who knows what's wrong with Ragna... Just all of it is... a lot, and so much in my life is changing, and it's... going too fast.
It makes my head hurt, and makes everything so loud in my head. I can't think, and all I want to do is shoot something because that's the only thing that doesn't make stuff hard for me.
[He shifted himself back in his seat, setting his feet flat on the floor and then he did something that he rarely did these days. He patted his thigh with a hand.] Come here, Jinx.
[Normally she just slid into his lap on her own, but the chair and the situation didn't allow for that easily without invitation from him he supposed. He let her talk though, make a list of all the complications of her life that were twisting her up before he answered.]
We can only control what we can control and exert pressure to other unmanageable elements. Shall we discuss some solutions, or would you prefer to simply talk about all these matters?
[ she lifts her head, her doe-like eyes widen almost pathetically before she shimmies out of her own chair to approach her father. jinx doesn't waver in pulling herself onto his lap, settling herself, despite being way too old to do this. she isn't small enough to curl up in a ball like she used to, so her long legs dangle off his lap, however she rests her head against his shoulder. ]
But these equations are too complicated.... are they any solutions?
[ from her standpoint, all she sees is a chalkboard filled with complexed calculus problems, and it's so overwhelming that not even a genius like her can't figure out where to start first. ]
[She was an adult and didn't fit as well as she used to, and yet, he shifted his arm to curl around the small of her back to keep her steady. This was not the first or the last time she would find her way into his lap, and he had given up years ago trying to dissuade her from the notion. These days he could appreciate her wanting to be close, perhaps aware that such days may be numbered the older and more independent she became.]
There are always solutions, Jinx. What we need to do is break them down into smaller pieces and deduce what the base issues are and build to the more complicated topics.
[Reading people and understanding their motivations was part of what made him successful.]
Shall we go down the list in order, or is there one topic that stands out most that you'd like to tackle first, hmm?
[ if she had to pick a problem, ekko is the one that's front and center, and then silco's affairs right after. jinx stated she had lost interest in caring about her father's escapades, but that's only a half-truth. it still ruffles her raven feathers in some way, but maybe it's because of the unknown of it all, and the constant titter-tottering the line of curiosity and not wanting the details of whom this chosen is. so instead, his daughter tucks her head more inward to silco, nuzzling her nose against the fabric of his attire. ]
I guess... go down the line?
[ it sounds safer to do than the latter, and she screws her eyes shut while letting her father's scent flow through and give her some tranquility. ]
[Silco knew there were topics in that list she probably wanted to endeavor on first, but he respected that she said that they should go down the list in order. If she wanted to change it up then he would allow her that opportunity as well. This was going to be a long conversation over many topics, so he expected it was good that they both settled in comfortably.]
Your fight with Ange and not knowing how to act around her now. What was your argument about?
[He tightened his grip around her back, shifting his head so that his cheek could rest against the top of her head.]
[ being cradled this way helps clear her mind more, and she idly plays with a button on his attire by unfastening it then refastening it. it's a good thing the clasp is sewed on tightly, otherwise, doing this would just have it worn out. ]
She's always so serious. And I've tried to lighten her up by poking fun, and sometimes I flirt with her, 'cause she's kinda cute too. She wanted in, in the Last Drop, so I told the bouncer that she's my special girl, and she's allowed in from now on. She helped me during the Maze, so... she's one of my important people. Like you, Ragna, Vi, Scott, Yu, maybe even Levi, too. All of you are mine, just one big clump of people.
[ she frowns more, refastening the button one final time before smoothing out any wrinkles. ]
She somehow got all upset about it, and told me to stop teasing her or... act how I've been acting with her. So. I did. And I started treating her like she wasn't in my big clump of people, but... she got upset about that too. So I dunno what she wants from me.
[Silco nodded his head as he considered the information; he had his own version of events from the bouncer mostly. He didn't know Ange well, but he had interacted with her enough to understand some of her reactions and motivations to other people.]
I expect her seriousness is a defense mechanism given how she is treated back in her own world; she is someone who is used to working and being alone for the most part. [He tipped his head so his chin was closer to his chest as he observed Jinx fiddling with his button.] When you're used to being alone and someone comes along that may fill that void, one can be... ah, overreactive.
[He was making an educated guess from experience, of course. He understood the swing of reaction, but he wasn't certain Jinx did.]
You come along and insert yourself as you do, fill that void even briefly for her so she reacts out in a sense of self-defense. Then you pulled away after her outburst, and she found herself alone once more. It was a give and take moment for her likely, Jinx.
[ when he puts it in that perspective, it does make everything a lot more sense to why ange reacted the way she did, and it makes her think that maybe she should try to be a little bit more patient with her in future? that is... if the redhead wants to see her again. ]
... Should I try and talk to her again? Or should I just leave her alone for a while? She's got a load of friends, I think, so... I think she'll be okay without me for a bit. Or will that make things worse?
[He shrugged a shoulder, as it wasn't his decision on if the relationship between Jinx and Ange was worth the upkeep. Female companionship would likely do his daughter well, and Ange was also very serious, which could add benefit or detriment to the relationship in the long run.]
That's up for you and how you feel the relationship is. Perhaps if you explained why you reacted the way that you did that night she could also explain her reactions. [Jinx needed more friends in his opinion.] It's your decision. Silence over a long period can cause deeper issues, but I expect you'll use your judgment.
[ because that will just allow her "jinx" to do whatever it wants freely. and she really needs to find some way to contain her curse. things have been going off the rails for her for a little while now, and with aldrip being filled with so many different people, surely someone would know something hexes, right? ]
She will. Nothing that happened should be worth cutting you out.
[He tipped his chin down to watch her smoothing out his vest. She seemed calmer, which hopefully would hold them through the more personal and difficult topics.]
Shall we move to the next topic on your list? Or shall we discuss Ange further?
[He was not particularly looking forward to any of the othe topics, but it was for her. His death at the hands of the sister was least favorite on the list though.]
[ just having this closeness and this calming conversation with him alone is enough to numb her anxiety, and she smiles to herself as she shuts her eyes. ]
Hmmm... we can skip around. I'm starting to feel a lot better now that I'm right here with you, like this.
... How do you really feel about... this thing with Ekko? Be honest.
[ she knows that ekko grinds his gears, but she doesn't know the extent of it. is it greater than quentin or less than that? her ex was a pretty ballsy guy, she'll give him that, but they both have history when it comes to the boy savior, too. ]
[Of course she would pick that subject. It wasn't unexpected, and the quick answer would be she had told him nothing would happen. That wouldn't be honest though, and he had made significant efforts to not withhold information.]
Much like your last boy, he feels the need to challenge me and try to pick fights with me. I find it off-putting, as I expect to be part of your life for as long as I live and that puts me in range of your relationships. I am, always, on your side, so if this is the adversity I am going to face, I worry how they will treat you in the long run.
[He sighed. That was at least his opinion overview. His hand stopped rubbing as he internally worked through his emotions to formulate his words.]
He can hate me all he likes, but I will not tolerate him trying to remove me from your life. Your happiness matters to me, but when your little squeezes try to weaponize that against me, I have no tolerance for that game either.
However, I can't stop you from engaging, but I will protect you.
[ her heart sinks a bit, because everything that he is saying is on point and true. and it really ruffles her raven feathers that it seems like this cycle will continue to wheel around. ]
I wish the people I do like wouldn't do that. You've always been good to me, and you've taken such good care for me... even when sometimes I know I don't deserve it. I just wish people would see that more than everything else.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-29 05:24 pm (UTC)he didn't need to back then, he could have been like mylo and pointed a finger to tease how he was right all along. but her father comforted her, and helped her get back on her feet. jinx is still stumbling, of course, but at least her legs aren't as wobbly. his daughter ducks her head down, the automatic voice hanging itself up after not receiving a response on what to do next, and it left the room to swallow up in silence. that is, until... ]
... We kissed.
[ she admits finally, reaching over a crayon to idly roll around on the table. ]
He was saying a lotta things and... it got me... weak. I guess. But I told him no. That I didn't want to be with him. And I stand by what I said.
cw: thoughts of future/past violence?
Date: 2024-07-29 06:41 pm (UTC)He made a soft noise of acknowledgement as the full truth was dragged out of her. He didn't intend for her to feel the need to speak further of it, but her impulsiveness paired with her fear of abandonment usually pushed such things out of her sooner than later.
Yet, his gaze sharpened and his head tilted to the side as he steepled his fingertips together.]
You told him no? Before or after this... kiss?
[No one took advantage of his daughter. He would see them in tiny pieces, and he would be certain to do that personally.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-30 04:03 am (UTC)[ her cheeks burn again, and she chews on her bottom lip knowing she'll have to talk about the whole incident in order to answer his question in full. jinx clears her throat, then averts her gaze back to the crayon she's toying with. ]
He confessed he has feelings for me. That he always had feelings for me. [ jinx loosely shrug a shoulder as she chuckles weakly. ] — Heh, and I, uh, thought he was joking. Y'know, just... trying to trip me up or something. But he said that he wasn't, and... he never wanted to fight me in the first place.
[ her tongue feels so swollen as she attempts to elaborate that day, and she moves her hand away from the marker to have her hands rest neatly in her lap. ]
Then he asked if... if I felt something, and I... — I mean, I've always felt some kind of something with him. This attraction or whatever. Like I don't want anyone else to hurt him, but me. Or... touch him. 'Cause I was first.
Then he just... got closer and closer to me.
[ steadily, her hand moves up to grab a handful of her straight locks, idly combing it through her fingers with her tone curling into a fairy tale like pitch. ]
He said that, we could just start over here, and all he wants to do is to hold me... and kiss me. But I told him, that he would just leave me or-or hurt me in the end, and we couldn't... be together. I said if he kisses me, it means everything was real, and it all means something.
[ jinx pauses as she thinks back, her breath carefully leaving her lips while staring off to nowhere in particular, and vacantly combing through her hair still. ]
He said he would never hurt me... and he'll prove that he's real and everything he felt... was real. So then he...
[ the pinks of her eyes glisten as she takes herself back to that exact moment, being physically present but not present at the same time. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-30 04:39 am (UTC)Of course, Silco was the hated target, wasn't it? The boy had accused him of brainwashing and manipulating his daughter. It was not the first time such notions were leveled at him. It was that or that his daughter compromised him and made him weak. The people here would likely be in full belief that he was the problem when it came to Jinx.
He nodded his head, easing back into his chair. There did not seem to be as much untoward as he would have liked, but that didn't mean that he was pleased to hear that there would be aggressive pursuit of his daughter. Maybe she actually had the right idea and they should vet each other's interest. Or just not have them at all.]
I see. Facts of the past speak differently regarding him hurting her. However, you said you couldn't be together with him. Why?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-30 05:12 am (UTC)... Because I know if he ever finds out we have Shimmer, he'll try to get rid of it. We'll just go back to how things were. There's no... starting over.
[ there's another reason, too, and she builds up the courage to be truthful. ]
I know you don't like him, and I want to be with someone who you approve of, who you'll like. ... Being with him will hurt you, and I've done enough of that already.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-30 05:44 am (UTC)Everyone from their world would disapprove of Shimmer being here; it was why he kept it secret for himself. Jinx was a bit more flagrant with it, but she had a far higher dose in her bloodstream than he did.]
He is welcome to try, but so far we have been fortunate to gain more. Still, it is a point of contention that will come to a head I expect.
[Silco regarded her silently at her reasoning, and he looked off across the house. He tapped his fingers lightly against his thigh as he considered.]
Our dislike is mutual, I imagine. There are very few that I approve of. What do you want?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-30 06:05 am (UTC)[ she admits, voice turning frail and meek as she shifts in her seat to pull her legs up to embrace with. a part of her wants to cry, weirdly enough, but she blinks away any that might leak from the corner of her eyelids. ]
I don't know what I want, 'cause everything is so... — [ his daughter stops, deciding to rephrase her explanation. ] — First this fight with Ange, and I don't know how I'm supposed to be around her or act, t-then you and Vi dying, then you doing... stuff with someone here, and then Ekko doing this, then the stupid infection, and who knows what's wrong with Ragna... Just all of it is... a lot, and so much in my life is changing, and it's... going too fast.
It makes my head hurt, and makes everything so loud in my head. I can't think, and all I want to do is shoot something because that's the only thing that doesn't make stuff hard for me.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-30 01:20 pm (UTC)[Normally she just slid into his lap on her own, but the chair and the situation didn't allow for that easily without invitation from him he supposed. He let her talk though, make a list of all the complications of her life that were twisting her up before he answered.]
We can only control what we can control and exert pressure to other unmanageable elements. Shall we discuss some solutions, or would you prefer to simply talk about all these matters?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-30 05:39 pm (UTC)But these equations are too complicated.... are they any solutions?
[ from her standpoint, all she sees is a chalkboard filled with complexed calculus problems, and it's so overwhelming that not even a genius like her can't figure out where to start first. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-31 01:10 pm (UTC)There are always solutions, Jinx. What we need to do is break them down into smaller pieces and deduce what the base issues are and build to the more complicated topics.
[Reading people and understanding their motivations was part of what made him successful.]
Shall we go down the list in order, or is there one topic that stands out most that you'd like to tackle first, hmm?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-07-31 08:05 pm (UTC)I guess... go down the line?
[ it sounds safer to do than the latter, and she screws her eyes shut while letting her father's scent flow through and give her some tranquility. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-01 03:24 am (UTC)Your fight with Ange and not knowing how to act around her now. What was your argument about?
[He tightened his grip around her back, shifting his head so that his cheek could rest against the top of her head.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-01 03:41 am (UTC)She's always so serious. And I've tried to lighten her up by poking fun, and sometimes I flirt with her, 'cause she's kinda cute too. She wanted in, in the Last Drop, so I told the bouncer that she's my special girl, and she's allowed in from now on. She helped me during the Maze, so... she's one of my important people. Like you, Ragna, Vi, Scott, Yu, maybe even Levi, too. All of you are mine, just one big clump of people.
[ she frowns more, refastening the button one final time before smoothing out any wrinkles. ]
She somehow got all upset about it, and told me to stop teasing her or... act how I've been acting with her. So. I did. And I started treating her like she wasn't in my big clump of people, but... she got upset about that too. So I dunno what she wants from me.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 01:27 pm (UTC)I expect her seriousness is a defense mechanism given how she is treated back in her own world; she is someone who is used to working and being alone for the most part. [He tipped his head so his chin was closer to his chest as he observed Jinx fiddling with his button.] When you're used to being alone and someone comes along that may fill that void, one can be... ah, overreactive.
[He was making an educated guess from experience, of course. He understood the swing of reaction, but he wasn't certain Jinx did.]
You come along and insert yourself as you do, fill that void even briefly for her so she reacts out in a sense of self-defense. Then you pulled away after her outburst, and she found herself alone once more. It was a give and take moment for her likely, Jinx.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-02 10:41 pm (UTC)... Should I try and talk to her again? Or should I just leave her alone for a while? She's got a load of friends, I think, so... I think she'll be okay without me for a bit. Or will that make things worse?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-03 02:50 am (UTC)That's up for you and how you feel the relationship is. Perhaps if you explained why you reacted the way that you did that night she could also explain her reactions. [Jinx needed more friends in his opinion.] It's your decision. Silence over a long period can cause deeper issues, but I expect you'll use your judgment.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-04 12:15 am (UTC)[ because that will just allow her "jinx" to do whatever it wants freely. and she really needs to find some way to contain her curse. things have been going off the rails for her for a little while now, and with aldrip being filled with so many different people, surely someone would know something hexes, right? ]
I guess I should give it another shot with her.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-04 12:21 am (UTC)[He lifted his cheek from the top of her head so he could shift slightly in the chair without disrupting her spot in his lap.
That subject reached a quicker resolution than he was expecting. See, she just needed to talk things out, and she would find her way.]
Perhaps you should let her know what you wish out of your relationship as well. It might put everyone at ease.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-04 02:02 am (UTC)If she wants to talk to me again, anyway. Guess there's only one way to find out, huh?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-04 02:15 am (UTC)[He tipped his chin down to watch her smoothing out his vest. She seemed calmer, which hopefully would hold them through the more personal and difficult topics.]
Shall we move to the next topic on your list? Or shall we discuss Ange further?
[He was not particularly looking forward to any of the othe topics, but it was for her. His death at the hands of the sister was least favorite on the list though.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-04 06:50 pm (UTC)Hmmm... we can skip around. I'm starting to feel a lot better now that I'm right here with you, like this.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-04 09:58 pm (UTC)Very well. Pick the next subject you wish to discuss then.
[It seemed better for her to decide which one she wanted a faster resolution to. Or maybe there would be none at all.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-05 01:42 am (UTC)[ she knows that ekko grinds his gears, but she doesn't know the extent of it. is it greater than quentin or less than that? her ex was a pretty ballsy guy, she'll give him that, but they both have history when it comes to the boy savior, too. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-05 02:12 am (UTC)Much like your last boy, he feels the need to challenge me and try to pick fights with me. I find it off-putting, as I expect to be part of your life for as long as I live and that puts me in range of your relationships. I am, always, on your side, so if this is the adversity I am going to face, I worry how they will treat you in the long run.
[He sighed. That was at least his opinion overview. His hand stopped rubbing as he internally worked through his emotions to formulate his words.]
He can hate me all he likes, but I will not tolerate him trying to remove me from your life. Your happiness matters to me, but when your little squeezes try to weaponize that against me, I have no tolerance for that game either.
However, I can't stop you from engaging, but I will protect you.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-08-05 02:45 am (UTC)I wish the people I do like wouldn't do that. You've always been good to me, and you've taken such good care for me... even when sometimes I know I don't deserve it. I just wish people would see that more than everything else.
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