If you avoid her, I expect you give her power over you. Do as you please in your silence of her though.
[He understood that pushing the torment from an unseen visitor was a reflection of trauma. He had spent years enduring the fits that Jinx's had caused her, and he had been forced to suffer them in his own way. Yet, he had found tactics that encouraged her to take some control, mostly pushing her to become bitter and angry as he over them. Powder was the source, so that part of her had to die so she could be free.
He hadn't quite hit that point with Richard, not yet fully understanding the traumas that may have created the witch to torment his lover so. Perhaps that's why he spoke of her, to nudge and apply pressure to see if he could discover the reason so he could encourage similar progress in Richard.
So he did allow the subject the change after a last word on the matter, unwilling to risk the good mood that he found himself in after their apparent survival. His hand rose and rub the towel over Richard's head to begin drying that dark hair. Yet, he snorted at the audacity to try to drag him out in the forest more than he already endured.]
I pay people to do those things for me. I prefer to exist in the shadows of the city, though I suppose I will drag myself out there to find you now and again. [He did venture to where Richard most frequently trained on occasion. Usually he brought a book and participated in none of the activities. Look, learning to discharge firearms better was probably as far as he was willing to go so far.]
In a sense, yes. The... AI or whatever they are calling it seemed to find one of our group foreign and created some form of corruption. It set him off to attack the rest of us. No matter, the reset went as required.
[He lifted a corner of the towel trying to fall into Richard's face.]
What of your own adventures? You seemed to have gone to a desert based on all the sand I had to shake out of the sheets.
The less we pay attention the her the better. [He says with an air of finality in his voice. Part of his fear pushed Richard away from wanting to address her presence in any manner, not wanting to encourage the witch and her minions any further. That and need to keep the fortress that he has build around his hurt up and impenetrable.
Richard drags his index finger along the scarred skin, feeling the familiarity of the cracks and crannies on the skin. He removes his hand and slightly bends his head forward when Silco reaches to dry his hair. There's a soft "mm"-sound from him as he closes his eyes, enjoying this subtle and quiet kind of affection. It was moments like this and the ones in the forest, with Silco silently there doing his own things during Richard's training, that he cherished the most. Bringing the calmness wash over his anxious soul.]
So the merchant doesn't want to see where his products come from? [He tilts his head to the right. The mismatched eyes peeking underneath the towel and shooting a cocky look up at Silco. He's joking, of course. While he doesn't mind his lover joining him to his practice, he wouldn't want to drag a novice to woods to get in his way during a hunt.
He does fall back to silent when Silco begins to describe the events that had went down at the terminal, listening thoughtfully at his words. The whole AI business goes way over his head and Richard has hard time grasping the concept of it, no matter how many times it had been explained to him. Junpei had likened it to a spirit of a child, which seemed to make most sense to him.. All but for one thing.]
Yes. I traveled to the desert with Mitsuru Kirijo, the owner of the Casino, Duke von Riegan, tall man named Vash and youth called Sawada. The only thing that provided us challenge was the terrain. [Which he was thankful for. If their team hadn't worked so well together Richard doubts that they would have made out of it alive.]
[He left it there, unwilling to go to war with his lover over demons that sought to torment Richard. He did wonder what stressor had urged her to come out in the first place, but it wasn't worth asking invasive questions at this point. No, he had learned a long time ago that watching and considering were his best options for the information that he sought, and Richard was no different.
His hand rubbed the towel at the top and sides of Richard's head before moving to neck and shoulders, making a low humming sound at the teasing. Oh, they had hit the point in the day, had they? It was rare that they teased each other, often far too serious to entertain such ribbing. It almost surprised him when someone other than Jinx did, but his hand didn't stop the rubbing as he simply basked in the fact that Richard was comfortable enough and with an elevating mood to do so with him.]
As long as they can be bought and then sold again, what does it matter to the merchant where they come from? Do you actually need me stomping around in the forest making noise and scarring all your prey away? Or do you want me there as bait only? [He strayed to the woods far more often these days than he had prior to meeting Richard. The forest wasn't particularly his cup of tea, as it were. He preferred the dark, dank caves.
He didn't understand why everyone wanted to back up the AI or how that was even done. He had allowed it go on because it would create less ripples in the group, but in the end, the reset was what was most important to him. It happened, and thus far, he had no reason to regret the decision.]
Indeed, it seems as if you brought sand as a souvenir from your adventures. I suppose you'll want to build a personal beach for you and your pig at this rate. [He suspected Richard had ambition to upgrade from this current abode but lacked the means thus far.]
Time will tell, but considering we woke up with a seemingly normal world, I doubt I will question my intentions. Survival is paramount for progress.
[Being able to move on from the topic of Witch and rendering her presence as nothing but vague background noise, which was already much more than what she deserved, to more casual and conversational really did help with improving Richard's mood. The sourness from his bath was mellowing down, and actual smile was forming to his features.]
Who knows. Maybe I'll have you work as one if I ever decide to follow the legend of Saint George and slay the dragon. [He says in jest. For time being Richard sees no appeal in actually risking his, or Silco's for that matter, life by going after such beasts.] Or maybe it would be your turn to teach me something in return? [Not that he already wasn't greatly in Silco's debt on that matter. Meeting the other man had turned out to be very lucky for Richard in so many ways. After all, him being able to settle down and get accustomed to this world this well has been greatly thanks to Silco.]
As if. [The mention of a beach gets an eye roll from Richard, accompanied by an amused scoff. So far the desert has been easily the worst terrain that Richard had endured in his life. It really made him miss the cold, rainy weather of England and it's misty yet lush scenery. It had been uncomfortable beyond reason and not something that he was looking to repeat anytime in future. If ever.]
Mm. [He hums thoughtfully, moving his upper body along with Silco's movements, offering him a new areas to dry. His lover was right. What's done is done, no use fretting on what-ifs or so.] And everything is fine on your end?
I've been close to those dragons, and I don't think I would be anything close to a favourable bite for them. Too skinny I expect. [He had his doubts that Richard would ever use him for bait unless it was an agreed upon tactic. It... wouldn't be the first time.] Perhaps it would be. What could I possibly teach you that you don't already know, hmm?
[He had spent time teaching Richard things now and again, though both of them were woefully underprepared for a technological world. He didn't fear it, but his understanding did not come easily and always with some level of frustration. It was a boon that his daughter took to such technology so easily, and he could in turn force her to teach him then he would in turn teach what he could to Richard.
His hands took the towel off of Richard's head so he could rub the younger man's body down well beyond the reach of it had it remained where it was. He kept it around Richard's back of course, using the material to pull the young man closer and closer to him as that damp skin became mostly dry with his efforts. By the time he was done everything but Richard's legs, he had closed the distance between them to be little more than a few inches.]
Your team managed to work together and no one was hurt or killed I take it?
[He shrugged at the question.] One of my problems may be gone but with a headache. Otherwise, I have found nothing that I can't replace or wrangle back into order.
Every beast is mindful of its territory. [Though he has to agree that neither of them carry much meat around their bones, both being on the skinnier side of the spectrum.
Richard follows the tug on the towel, taking the few steps forward to close the small gap between them. His eyes briefly wanders to the flames in the fireplace, actually taking a moment to think over what he could ask Silco to teach him the next. He had been learning about the world of capitalism and business -- which hadn't been all that hard for him to grasp, in the end. After all as the Duke of Gloucester he was used to govern much bigger land and area than Aldrip. It was also thanks to Silco's influence that he doesn't react so badly or shun electricity like before.]
...Fork. I want to know how to use knife and fork properly. [He says eventually, voice a smaller and more awkward than before. Admitting his shortcomings like this did make him feel somewhat uneasy, despite their close relationship. For the record, Richard has been practicing using the utensils on his own, but it had been a struggle. There had been some improvement, sure, but Richard could tell that he was still clumsy and far from mastering the practice.]
Mm. [He nods in admittance. The travel through the desert had been taxing and hard, sure. But overall he supposes that his team had been successful otherwise. But he supposes that's what survival does to you, no time for petty arguments or quarrels when you were too focused on staying alive.] Which trouble is that?
[Then, the mischievous smile widening on his lips, Richard raises his left foot and gently kicks it against Silco's calf. Well, since his lover started to dry him he might as well finish the job.]
Indeed. Wouldn't want someone wandering in and taking what is theirs. [Or ours went unspoken. Far be for him to consider taking on a dragon in a fight when he didn't fight humans all that well unless he stacked the odds.
He paused and peered at his lover at the mention of fork, considering for a moment. That wasn't unreasonable, and it was more practice. He knew that Richard had acquired and used utensils, and Silco himself was one that almost never ate with his hands. He also never made a point to be disgusted that Richard did; Zaun was a wild place and more people ate with their hands in a rather rude and gross fashion than anyone would ever discuss. It never bothered him.] That can be arranged, but I think you've become aware of the basics. It only requires muscle memory now.
[He narrowed his blue eye at the kick, feigning annoyance for the gesture. Still, he dropped to one knee so he could finish what he had started. It didn't help his cause that Richard was miles of legs and also rather distracting from this angle as he looked up at the younger man's face.] It appears Jinx's right hand had stepped out of the picture. We will see if he comes in time, but I suspect he was lost in the reset.
[Though to Silco, nothing worthwhile was lost. If anything, this was a boon to him.]
[ Overall Richard avoided eating in public or otherwise in the presence of others, not wanting to draw any additional attention to his person. After all, he if someone understood the importance of the mastering manners, etiquette and being able to blend in the society. Even he had mastered the dance and other activities that he considered as waste of time just to so that he could play the part that was expected of him. It had all been essential part to his survival, to thaw himself from any suspicion that he was anything less than what they believed him to be.
And he is fully aware that he still has lot of work do to if he wanted to blend in the world of Aldrip. Which is why he overall avoided eating in public or otherwise in presence of others. He knew that his table-manners only brought more unnecessary attention to his person and 'flair' -- which he had heard people describe to be "barbaric" and "antique." It frustrated him, rousing the dark flames of anger within him as he felt the differentiating gazes at his direction that were to seek out to set him apart from others. As if they saw right through him.]
True. Dragons are known for guarding treasures beyond one's imagination. [He adds to their previous topic, his healthy hand reaching out to rest on top of Silco's shoulder as the other man goes down. He looks down at his lower, cocking his head to the side a little. The heat radiating from the fireplace warmed up his nude body.
Something is not matching here, he thinks. As far as Richard was aware Silco was all in favor for his daughter's attempts at rebellion and establish a leadership. So, why would Jinx's second in command be a counted as a trouble. Unless it was someone he thought to be against his own vision. Or perhaps someone with ulterior motives that Jinx was blind to?] Was this person yet another foolish knight stepping in the beast's den, eyes set on treasure that wasn't his?
Dragons aren't the only ones to do so. Greed is a common nature for many to pursue.
[His hands use the towel to wipe down one long leg, taking his time with the task before switching to the other limb. He was keenly aware of the feel of Richard's hand on his shoulder, and he absently wondered if this was what some sort of subject of his would do when he was being all... royal. It frankly didn't matter to him as he provided this to Richard and Richard alone.] What kind of treasure would you guard if you had it, hmm?
[His hands pause with the towel at the question, aware it hit a little too close to home. There was, of course, no reason to lie. The boy had been a mild annoyance of his world for years, but lately that annoyance had grown to encroach more than he would have liked. The boy was very nearly making himself an actual threat, and Silco dealt with most threats harshly unless they had a significant use to him and could be controlled.]
He was pursuing my daughter in a manner I didn't approve of and warned him off of. He also had a bad habit of running his mouth thinking there would be no consequences, but he's seemingly gone now.
[Well, Silco is right in his assumption that this situation is indeed something that someone in Richard's position would be entitled to. It was part of attendant's job to help their lord or lady to clean up and dress for the day. Not that Richard ever allowed servants to enter his chambers, always doing these things on his own despite knowing the rumor mill that his antics would create among his serving staff. But that was low price to pay for life-saving privacy. There had ever been only three people in his life that he had shared his secret. Two men who had sworn to follow him into the hell -- and Silco.]
Anything that is truly mine. [Simple as that. The answer might paint him greedy and petty, but so be it. Richard wasn't someone who'd let his own to go so easily or share it.
The quick halt in Silco movements tells him that his line of thought had hit its mark. Though, it seems that the situation was more complicated than what he had initially thought. A memory of Jinx's previous outburst comes to his mind. She had sent him once the aggressive, borderline threatening message him that Richard had barely been able to read.]
Your daughter once reached out to me. She was upset over something that you had forced her to admit while you kept secrets from her. She seemed to want to pin the blame on me. Is this related to that?
[Unlike an attendant - which he was not - Silco leaned in so he could nip the swell of Richard's hip before he rose to his feet again. He brought the towel with him of course, draping the material over the younger man's shoulders as he made a point to then card his fingers through Richard's dark hair to make certain all of it was tucked behind an ear to keep those mismatched eyes visible. His own scarring was plain to see, no make-up covering the dark mottled skin or deep lines of scarring.]
Does that 'anything' include people? [It might be a simple question, but there was a load of problematic issues behind it. Those issues which Silco didn't allow himself to see.
He made a low 'hmm' sound as he considered the implications of Jinx going after Richard; he had intended to let them settle it out themselves and expected that her tantrums would wane with time and distraction of her own. Unfortunately, she was extremely possessive, so he could assume the vitriol that his lover had had to contend with. It might even be considered worse than what he had to contend with, only because he was used to dealing with his daughter in such moments of high emotional conflict.]
Likely. She was sneaking around with the boy; I found out. Unlike me who admitted I had a lover just had not - and have not - admitted an identity, and it was never anything I didn't skirt or deny. [See the difference? He did. Jinx didn't. Maybe no one agreed with him, but he frankly didn't care.]
[The sharp nib on his hip earns a jerk of a muscle and slight tremble on Richard's lip. He follows Silco with his eyes as he stands up, the hand on his shoulder slowly sliding down to his chest before retracting it off his lover's body to curl his fingers around the edge's of the blanket.]
Of course. [He answers immediately without any hesitation.] I naturally protect all of those who have pledged themselves to me and provide for them. Unless they were to betray to me. [It really is simple as that. It matters not whether those people were peasants, farmers, soldiers or nobles. They were all the same to Richard in the long run, something for him to command and do as he sees fit. Stepping stones to his throne.
He's certain that Silco if anyone could understand him on this.]
Hm. [He hums quietly, lips pressing into tighter line as he listens to Silco's explanation. While he definitely saw Silco's side to be more correct, as a father's matters of love life and what not should not be any of a daughter's business. But the situation overall seems so childish to him. And petty.] I do not care who she decides to spend her time with. And I do not care to made to be a pawn in such quarrel.
[Now he wished perhaps more than ever that Silco had kept silence all together about this. It seems like it could have saved them both a lot of headache. Richard then steps to the side and passes his lover as he walks towards the bedroom.] I shall dress.
I see. [There was an undertone of interest to the answer, but otherwise, he held himself in check. There had been too many betrayals to consider where he fit into Richard's life. He had the answer to his question, and he accepted it. There were times when Richard was so self-assured, and he could appreciate that, especially when it off-set those times when Richard seemed to fade to the background.] What do you view as a pledge?
[Betrayal was a fact that was not tolerated by the both of them. That much they had in common. He imagined without evidence that Richard would be as spiteful as he was in such a case.
The disapproval was obvious just by the thinning of his lover's lips. However, how he conducted himself was not something he felt the urge to change even in the face of such disapproval.] That she approached you in her business; I certainly didn't encourage it. I have safeguarded your secrets more than I have anyone outside of Jinx thus far.
[There were times that he even questioned why he went so far, and yet, he continued to do so. He was aware that Jinx's disapproval could and would sour most situations, and he expected that her volatile reaction was expected to earn her favourable results. After all, most people feared her.]
Do you wish to continue this conversation upon your return?
[Richard really does come with to settings. The insecure and fearful man haunted by his own demons versus the confident and charismatic leader with strength to make the chance. The key difference here is that it's not himself that Richard has belief in -- but in his blood and status. The legacy and the wish of his father that he carries with him.]
An oath to be sworn to me. [Now, where does this arrangement of theirs land on with such statement? Richard was not sure. They both had sworn a loyalty of sorts to each other, at least when it came to who'd they let in their beds and so. But how far did that loyalty extend to between to men like them who had vaults full of secrets and skeletons. Only time will tell, he supposes.
Richard stops at the door and turns his head to look over his shoulder.]
[Silco made a noise in his throat at the idea of an oath. Loyalty by words and swearing upon that God he expected. In his mind, the conversation that they had had previously where they had bound themselves on some level with a few of their secrets was enough for him. Their secrets were hard fought and coveted and to give them away was a show of trust that no 'oath' could bring about. He did not believe in blind loyalty.
No doubt they could dig deep into such a subject, but he had found that when he pushed too hard, Richard simply stopped talking. He wasn't willing to sour his current good mood at survival over an impassioned speech that would have a back turned on him. Debater Richard was not.
He had turned towards the exit of Richard's house by now, hand fishing in his vest pocket for his cigar case.]
Hardly a subject worth discussing, no. Do you wish to continue to discuss your feelings of being a pawn between myself and my daughter?
[It was, unfortunately, part of Richard's nature to fall quiet and withdraw away whenever he saw no point in continuing it. Something that he found himself doing more frequently in this world than in his own. No matter how much time passed, he still kept finding himself feeling lost and confused by a new thing and the way of these people thought. All seemingly on the same page on their views and understanding. Everyone else but him. There was hardly anything he could say to that.
Just like here. Richard could feel the threat of silence looming even here. Did he wish to talk about his feelings on the matter? Not really. He had already stated how he felt. What more there is to say about it.
But the sight of Silco's back turned against him as the man was heading towards the front door did stir something unpleasant in him. There's a flash of hesitation in Richard's eyes. He lowers his head, shifting his gaze down on the floor as he weights his options.]
[Fish out of water was the term, and he felt it keenly at times. Technology was not a subject he was familiar with, but also he had been raised in a time and place where thumbing one's nose at the opinions of others was very common. It allowed him to be entrenched in his own beliefs and will to make changes without considering or caring how it might affect others around him. His world was on balance, and so he stood atop it.
He stopped before reaching the door, silver case in one hand, at the call. He turned his head to observe Richard for a few seconds, and there was a rebuttal that he wasn't a servant to help with the basics of clothing yet he stopped himself. He knew the olive branch for what it was, so he resisted the base urge to rebel against the misplaced notion of servitude.
He dropped the case on a table as he turned and moved to follow Richard to the bedroom. Normally he would keep his hands to himself, yet he felt a sort of odd need for connection. His fingers reached out so he could wrap his hand gently around Richard's scarred wrist as they moved to the bedroom.]
Are you planning on training in the woods today or remaining around your property?
[A strange and unexpected wave of relief passes through Richard's body when he sees Silco to turn around and accept his invitation. When had the anxiety crept up to him, reaching out him with its claws? Just what was he afraid of here. That Silco were to abandon him?
Richard waits for Silco to walk up to him before pushing the door open to let them inside of his room. He briefly looks at the hand reaching out to his own, fingers curling around his slender wrist.]
I'll stay in. I'm too tired for training today. [He says softly as they enter. Then, letting go of the edges of the towel and allowing it to slide off his shoulders, he stepped in closer and brought his hand to grasp on the one that was holding on his wrist.] You do not understand that you are the only one I am allowing this? I am not shutting you out.
[As he was still fully clothed - though in need of a shower himself at some point - he stepped in and nudged the door shut behind them once they had entered. Privacy was something that he too valued, though less for survival reasons like Richard. Bedrooms were also private spaces in general, and he did not underappreciate that his lover allowed him into this space often - sometimes very readily.
So he was very familiar with the bedroom, yet he paused from progressing further when Richard closed the paltry distance between them. He felt the warm hand covering his own a moment later, yet his mismatched gazed met with his lover's equally mismatched one.] Don't I? I'm aware of your need for secrecy.
I do not mean just here. [Richard closes the small gap between them and raises their joined hands up, bringing Silco's against the column of his neck to feel his pulse. A gesture of a trust.] There has only been one person beside you with free enter to rooms like this.
[Even Catesby, the man who had been standing by his side ever since of his childhood, needed a permission before entering his chamber. Either his or Buckingham's, who hold the only spare key to his chambers. Silco might understand the need for the privacy, yes. But his requests in the assistance, be they subtle or direct, such as with the towel and dressing up, are not born out of arrogance but the trust that he is not willing to give to just anyone.] I respect you.
So it's an honour that you provide few and I should appreciate that I have made my way into your inner circle of trust? [It was and wasn't difficult for him to understand. He too rarely let anyone close to him, least of all when he was sleeping; it was a state of vulnerability he didn't like to share with many. At the same time, he wasn't used to someone relying on him for basic things as a sign of such appreciation, of a bonding experience. It took him those moments standing with his hand against the side of Richard's neck to realize that's what the request had actually been.
He made a soft noise of acknowledge in his throat, nodding his head a little. They had had plenty of casual conversations, some delving into sensitive topics, but it was these small signs that there was something budding that both thrilled and absolutely terrified him.] I appreciate your candor. Most respect me because they are afraid of me and what I may do. I don't sense the same when it comes to you.
[He leaned down their height difference so that he could rest his forehead against Richard's, staring into those mismatched eyes.] If I make you uncomfortable or push you too hard, I would like you to tell me. I've noticed that you will often go silent to me. I want to know what you're thinking... which is rare because most people are easy enough to read or guess their motivations. You... are intriguing and I want you to feel you can challenge me.
[There is a subtle shift in Richard's expression, as there is a slight tension on his lips and twitch of fingers. It seems like Silco is taking his invitation in the wrong way, seeing it as more of display of arrogance than anything else. There was a shy spike of frustration pressing quietly back of his mind as he found his gesture to be misunderstood again, highlighting the differences between him and the rest of peopl in this world. Silco included.
If things were any different between them Richard supposes he could share the sentiment as those 'most' that Silco describes. He recognizes the potential and silent strength of the man, knowing that he would make a dangerous and remarkable enemy. Not someone to be taken lightly, at all. But in this world? No. Richard had not seen any reason for him to be fearful of the man and his power, not even when he had offered his secret and trust to him on a silver platter.
There is.. something very familiar in Silco's words. Tugging at painful feeling that he had tried to destroy with all his might. But there it was again, threatening to bring about yet another cursed memory.
"The person I like is you. Just as you are." Those damned blue eyes looking at him with all the love and gentleness of the world, seeing nothing but him on that moment. Henry had, also, once tried to get words out of him -- carefully luring him into the daylight from his dark hiding place.
Richard licks his lips and swallows air, looking up at Silco's eyes.]
And.. And what if I have nothing to say? [Not entirely true most of the times. In fact, it usually it was the opposite with Joan and other voices preoccupying his mind and thoughts. Leaving him to struggle through demons and their whispers as he tried to find the path out of the maze that is his own, fragmented mind.]
[The shift might be subtle on Richard's expression, but he had spent years reading people's body language so that he could pick it apart. Partially a survival mechanism but mostly that he was one that knew the best way to control people was to understand their subtleties. And in this case, people who spent much of their time in silence, it was useful to know when he was heading into the territory of pushing into potentially uncomfortable territory.] Talk to me, Richard. Am I reading the situation wrong of growing into your circle of trust?
[He remained close, opposite to his usual antics. While he didn't deny that the power dynamics of the conversation were likely in his favour, he had no doubt that Richard - regardless of being naked - could take him down without much, if any effort. They had never fought, of course. Even play fighting was not the sort of antics that they degraded themselves to. Still, being physically close was important.
His blue eye remained steady in return, gazing thoughtfully as he considered the question. The back of his hand moved to stroke up and down Richard's neck where it was held.]
I would appreciate you telling me so. Unfortunately, I wasn't born with the ability to read minds, and we both know that our minds are where they greatest traps exist. Around and around we may go with no resolution. [Communication was something he had lacked in his youth; now, he was too controlling in his own behaviours to not understand the value of the word.]
[Silco's refusal to let the issue go nearly makes Richard want to step away and withdraw away from the moment. Richard wasn't really all that used to be pressured like this. Most people in his life didn't posses a rank high enough to question and push him like this. And those who's position exceeded his own? Well, most of them were like sheep - easy to lead where he wanted them to. Buckingham standing as only exception to the rule.
But the push hadn't become a shove just yet, and after a brief moment of silence Richard finally answers:] No. [A quick hesitation as he tries to connect he feelings into words.] But there is no circle. Only you.
[Richard is fully aware that this is not his strongest suit. It, again, makes him miss the presence of his other half. Buckingham had always just somehow been able to understand him, seen through his mask and just knew. He misses the confidence that his kingmaker would give him, his hand and touch guiding him through these struggles, and somehow bring the best out of him.]
[Unfortunately, pushing was his natural inclination, especially when he thought that it might pry loose a few extra words from Richard. He also expected that Richard might pull away from him, hence why he remained so close physically where it would be obvious to the both of them the retreat. His curiosity warred with his just as damning self-sabotage, aware that pushing could be the last straw eventually.]
Only me? [He repeated that to confirm to himself what he had just heard. It was followed by a seemingly strange tightening in his chest, and his hand moved from the side to the back of Richard's neck to rest there.] Two monsters lurking in the safety of the dark together, it seems. I value your trust.
[He lifted his forehead away at the question; it was very, very personal. What sort of traps awaited him when he closed his eye, hmm? While he had meant it broadly, he was aware of some of his mental pitfalls, yet others remained lurking in the dark undermining him now and again.]
I expect the same as everyone in that there are mental twisting to erode confidence. [Again broad, but he knew that wasn't good enough, not here in the privacy when if he was to expect trust and honesty, he had to give it first to showcase his own vulnerabilities.] When you go silent, I expect you're on the verge of ending this. Perhaps... if I push you hard enough, the expectations that I don't deserve whatever this is comes true as it has over and over in the past.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-05 04:29 am (UTC)[He understood that pushing the torment from an unseen visitor was a reflection of trauma. He had spent years enduring the fits that Jinx's had caused her, and he had been forced to suffer them in his own way. Yet, he had found tactics that encouraged her to take some control, mostly pushing her to become bitter and angry as he over them. Powder was the source, so that part of her had to die so she could be free.
He hadn't quite hit that point with Richard, not yet fully understanding the traumas that may have created the witch to torment his lover so. Perhaps that's why he spoke of her, to nudge and apply pressure to see if he could discover the reason so he could encourage similar progress in Richard.
So he did allow the subject the change after a last word on the matter, unwilling to risk the good mood that he found himself in after their apparent survival. His hand rose and rub the towel over Richard's head to begin drying that dark hair. Yet, he snorted at the audacity to try to drag him out in the forest more than he already endured.]
I pay people to do those things for me. I prefer to exist in the shadows of the city, though I suppose I will drag myself out there to find you now and again. [He did venture to where Richard most frequently trained on occasion. Usually he brought a book and participated in none of the activities. Look, learning to discharge firearms better was probably as far as he was willing to go so far.]
In a sense, yes. The... AI or whatever they are calling it seemed to find one of our group foreign and created some form of corruption. It set him off to attack the rest of us. No matter, the reset went as required.
[He lifted a corner of the towel trying to fall into Richard's face.]
What of your own adventures? You seemed to have gone to a desert based on all the sand I had to shake out of the sheets.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-05 10:46 pm (UTC)Richard drags his index finger along the scarred skin, feeling the familiarity of the cracks and crannies on the skin. He removes his hand and slightly bends his head forward when Silco reaches to dry his hair. There's a soft "mm"-sound from him as he closes his eyes, enjoying this subtle and quiet kind of affection. It was moments like this and the ones in the forest, with Silco silently there doing his own things during Richard's training, that he cherished the most. Bringing the calmness wash over his anxious soul.]
So the merchant doesn't want to see where his products come from? [He tilts his head to the right. The mismatched eyes peeking underneath the towel and shooting a cocky look up at Silco. He's joking, of course. While he doesn't mind his lover joining him to his practice, he wouldn't want to drag a novice to woods to get in his way during a hunt.
He does fall back to silent when Silco begins to describe the events that had went down at the terminal, listening thoughtfully at his words. The whole AI business goes way over his head and Richard has hard time grasping the concept of it, no matter how many times it had been explained to him. Junpei had likened it to a spirit of a child, which seemed to make most sense to him.. All but for one thing.]
Yes. I traveled to the desert with Mitsuru Kirijo, the owner of the Casino, Duke von Riegan, tall man named Vash and youth called Sawada. The only thing that provided us challenge was the terrain. [Which he was thankful for. If their team hadn't worked so well together Richard doubts that they would have made out of it alive.]
..Do you think we chose the right solution?
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Date: 2024-10-05 11:28 pm (UTC)[He left it there, unwilling to go to war with his lover over demons that sought to torment Richard. He did wonder what stressor had urged her to come out in the first place, but it wasn't worth asking invasive questions at this point. No, he had learned a long time ago that watching and considering were his best options for the information that he sought, and Richard was no different.
His hand rubbed the towel at the top and sides of Richard's head before moving to neck and shoulders, making a low humming sound at the teasing. Oh, they had hit the point in the day, had they? It was rare that they teased each other, often far too serious to entertain such ribbing. It almost surprised him when someone other than Jinx did, but his hand didn't stop the rubbing as he simply basked in the fact that Richard was comfortable enough and with an elevating mood to do so with him.]
As long as they can be bought and then sold again, what does it matter to the merchant where they come from? Do you actually need me stomping around in the forest making noise and scarring all your prey away? Or do you want me there as bait only? [He strayed to the woods far more often these days than he had prior to meeting Richard. The forest wasn't particularly his cup of tea, as it were. He preferred the dark, dank caves.
He didn't understand why everyone wanted to back up the AI or how that was even done. He had allowed it go on because it would create less ripples in the group, but in the end, the reset was what was most important to him. It happened, and thus far, he had no reason to regret the decision.]
Indeed, it seems as if you brought sand as a souvenir from your adventures. I suppose you'll want to build a personal beach for you and your pig at this rate. [He suspected Richard had ambition to upgrade from this current abode but lacked the means thus far.]
Time will tell, but considering we woke up with a seemingly normal world, I doubt I will question my intentions. Survival is paramount for progress.
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Date: 2024-10-06 02:09 am (UTC)Who knows. Maybe I'll have you work as one if I ever decide to follow the legend of Saint George and slay the dragon. [He says in jest. For time being Richard sees no appeal in actually risking his, or Silco's for that matter, life by going after such beasts.] Or maybe it would be your turn to teach me something in return? [Not that he already wasn't greatly in Silco's debt on that matter. Meeting the other man had turned out to be very lucky for Richard in so many ways. After all, him being able to settle down and get accustomed to this world this well has been greatly thanks to Silco.]
As if. [The mention of a beach gets an eye roll from Richard, accompanied by an amused scoff. So far the desert has been easily the worst terrain that Richard had endured in his life. It really made him miss the cold, rainy weather of England and it's misty yet lush scenery. It had been uncomfortable beyond reason and not something that he was looking to repeat anytime in future. If ever.]
Mm. [He hums thoughtfully, moving his upper body along with Silco's movements, offering him a new areas to dry. His lover was right. What's done is done, no use fretting on what-ifs or so.] And everything is fine on your end?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-06 03:20 am (UTC)[He had spent time teaching Richard things now and again, though both of them were woefully underprepared for a technological world. He didn't fear it, but his understanding did not come easily and always with some level of frustration. It was a boon that his daughter took to such technology so easily, and he could in turn force her to teach him then he would in turn teach what he could to Richard.
His hands took the towel off of Richard's head so he could rub the younger man's body down well beyond the reach of it had it remained where it was. He kept it around Richard's back of course, using the material to pull the young man closer and closer to him as that damp skin became mostly dry with his efforts. By the time he was done everything but Richard's legs, he had closed the distance between them to be little more than a few inches.]
Your team managed to work together and no one was hurt or killed I take it?
[He shrugged at the question.] One of my problems may be gone but with a headache. Otherwise, I have found nothing that I can't replace or wrangle back into order.
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Date: 2024-10-07 02:58 am (UTC)Richard follows the tug on the towel, taking the few steps forward to close the small gap between them. His eyes briefly wanders to the flames in the fireplace, actually taking a moment to think over what he could ask Silco to teach him the next. He had been learning about the world of capitalism and business -- which hadn't been all that hard for him to grasp, in the end. After all as the Duke of Gloucester he was used to govern much bigger land and area than Aldrip. It was also thanks to Silco's influence that he doesn't react so badly or shun electricity like before.]
...Fork. I want to know how to use knife and fork properly. [He says eventually, voice a smaller and more awkward than before. Admitting his shortcomings like this did make him feel somewhat uneasy, despite their close relationship. For the record, Richard has been practicing using the utensils on his own, but it had been a struggle. There had been some improvement, sure, but Richard could tell that he was still clumsy and far from mastering the practice.]
Mm. [He nods in admittance. The travel through the desert had been taxing and hard, sure. But overall he supposes that his team had been successful otherwise. But he supposes that's what survival does to you, no time for petty arguments or quarrels when you were too focused on staying alive.] Which trouble is that?
[Then, the mischievous smile widening on his lips, Richard raises his left foot and gently kicks it against Silco's calf. Well, since his lover started to dry him he might as well finish the job.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-07 03:36 am (UTC)He paused and peered at his lover at the mention of fork, considering for a moment. That wasn't unreasonable, and it was more practice. He knew that Richard had acquired and used utensils, and Silco himself was one that almost never ate with his hands. He also never made a point to be disgusted that Richard did; Zaun was a wild place and more people ate with their hands in a rather rude and gross fashion than anyone would ever discuss. It never bothered him.] That can be arranged, but I think you've become aware of the basics. It only requires muscle memory now.
[He narrowed his blue eye at the kick, feigning annoyance for the gesture. Still, he dropped to one knee so he could finish what he had started. It didn't help his cause that Richard was miles of legs and also rather distracting from this angle as he looked up at the younger man's face.] It appears Jinx's right hand had stepped out of the picture. We will see if he comes in time, but I suspect he was lost in the reset.
[Though to Silco, nothing worthwhile was lost. If anything, this was a boon to him.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-07 09:30 pm (UTC)And he is fully aware that he still has lot of work do to if he wanted to blend in the world of Aldrip. Which is why he overall avoided eating in public or otherwise in presence of others. He knew that his table-manners only brought more unnecessary attention to his person and 'flair' -- which he had heard people describe to be "barbaric" and "antique." It frustrated him, rousing the dark flames of anger within him as he felt the differentiating gazes at his direction that were to seek out to set him apart from others. As if they saw right through him.]
True. Dragons are known for guarding treasures beyond one's imagination. [He adds to their previous topic, his healthy hand reaching out to rest on top of Silco's shoulder as the other man goes down. He looks down at his lower, cocking his head to the side a little. The heat radiating from the fireplace warmed up his nude body.
Something is not matching here, he thinks. As far as Richard was aware Silco was all in favor for his daughter's attempts at rebellion and establish a leadership. So, why would Jinx's second in command be a counted as a trouble. Unless it was someone he thought to be against his own vision. Or perhaps someone with ulterior motives that Jinx was blind to?] Was this person yet another foolish knight stepping in the beast's den, eyes set on treasure that wasn't his?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-08 04:52 am (UTC)[His hands use the towel to wipe down one long leg, taking his time with the task before switching to the other limb. He was keenly aware of the feel of Richard's hand on his shoulder, and he absently wondered if this was what some sort of subject of his would do when he was being all... royal. It frankly didn't matter to him as he provided this to Richard and Richard alone.] What kind of treasure would you guard if you had it, hmm?
[His hands pause with the towel at the question, aware it hit a little too close to home. There was, of course, no reason to lie. The boy had been a mild annoyance of his world for years, but lately that annoyance had grown to encroach more than he would have liked. The boy was very nearly making himself an actual threat, and Silco dealt with most threats harshly unless they had a significant use to him and could be controlled.]
He was pursuing my daughter in a manner I didn't approve of and warned him off of. He also had a bad habit of running his mouth thinking there would be no consequences, but he's seemingly gone now.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-08 09:40 am (UTC)Anything that is truly mine. [Simple as that. The answer might paint him greedy and petty, but so be it. Richard wasn't someone who'd let his own to go so easily or share it.
The quick halt in Silco movements tells him that his line of thought had hit its mark. Though, it seems that the situation was more complicated than what he had initially thought. A memory of Jinx's previous outburst comes to his mind. She had sent him once the aggressive, borderline threatening message him that Richard had barely been able to read.]
Your daughter once reached out to me. She was upset over something that you had forced her to admit while you kept secrets from her. She seemed to want to pin the blame on me. Is this related to that?
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Date: 2024-10-08 12:51 pm (UTC)Does that 'anything' include people? [It might be a simple question, but there was a load of problematic issues behind it. Those issues which Silco didn't allow himself to see.
He made a low 'hmm' sound as he considered the implications of Jinx going after Richard; he had intended to let them settle it out themselves and expected that her tantrums would wane with time and distraction of her own. Unfortunately, she was extremely possessive, so he could assume the vitriol that his lover had had to contend with. It might even be considered worse than what he had to contend with, only because he was used to dealing with his daughter in such moments of high emotional conflict.]
Likely. She was sneaking around with the boy; I found out. Unlike me who admitted I had a lover just had not - and have not - admitted an identity, and it was never anything I didn't skirt or deny. [See the difference? He did. Jinx didn't. Maybe no one agreed with him, but he frankly didn't care.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 02:09 am (UTC)Of course. [He answers immediately without any hesitation.] I naturally protect all of those who have pledged themselves to me and provide for them. Unless they were to betray to me. [It really is simple as that. It matters not whether those people were peasants, farmers, soldiers or nobles. They were all the same to Richard in the long run, something for him to command and do as he sees fit. Stepping stones to his throne.
He's certain that Silco if anyone could understand him on this.]
Hm. [He hums quietly, lips pressing into tighter line as he listens to Silco's explanation. While he definitely saw Silco's side to be more correct, as a father's matters of love life and what not should not be any of a daughter's business. But the situation overall seems so childish to him. And petty.] I do not care who she decides to spend her time with. And I do not care to made to be a pawn in such quarrel.
[Now he wished perhaps more than ever that Silco had kept silence all together about this. It seems like it could have saved them both a lot of headache. Richard then steps to the side and passes his lover as he walks towards the bedroom.] I shall dress.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 03:14 am (UTC)[Betrayal was a fact that was not tolerated by the both of them. That much they had in common. He imagined without evidence that Richard would be as spiteful as he was in such a case.
The disapproval was obvious just by the thinning of his lover's lips. However, how he conducted himself was not something he felt the urge to change even in the face of such disapproval.] That she approached you in her business; I certainly didn't encourage it. I have safeguarded your secrets more than I have anyone outside of Jinx thus far.
[There were times that he even questioned why he went so far, and yet, he continued to do so. He was aware that Jinx's disapproval could and would sour most situations, and he expected that her volatile reaction was expected to earn her favourable results. After all, most people feared her.]
Do you wish to continue this conversation upon your return?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 03:33 pm (UTC)An oath to be sworn to me. [Now, where does this arrangement of theirs land on with such statement? Richard was not sure. They both had sworn a loyalty of sorts to each other, at least when it came to who'd they let in their beds and so. But how far did that loyalty extend to between to men like them who had vaults full of secrets and skeletons. Only time will tell, he supposes.
Richard stops at the door and turns his head to look over his shoulder.]
Of your daughter's missing lover?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 04:00 pm (UTC)No doubt they could dig deep into such a subject, but he had found that when he pushed too hard, Richard simply stopped talking. He wasn't willing to sour his current good mood at survival over an impassioned speech that would have a back turned on him. Debater Richard was not.
He had turned towards the exit of Richard's house by now, hand fishing in his vest pocket for his cigar case.]
Hardly a subject worth discussing, no. Do you wish to continue to discuss your feelings of being a pawn between myself and my daughter?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 05:02 pm (UTC)Just like here. Richard could feel the threat of silence looming even here. Did he wish to talk about his feelings on the matter? Not really. He had already stated how he felt. What more there is to say about it.
But the sight of Silco's back turned against him as the man was heading towards the front door did stir something unpleasant in him. There's a flash of hesitation in Richard's eyes. He lowers his head, shifting his gaze down on the floor as he weights his options.]
Come. I wish you to help me dress. We can talk.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 06:05 pm (UTC)He stopped before reaching the door, silver case in one hand, at the call. He turned his head to observe Richard for a few seconds, and there was a rebuttal that he wasn't a servant to help with the basics of clothing yet he stopped himself. He knew the olive branch for what it was, so he resisted the base urge to rebel against the misplaced notion of servitude.
He dropped the case on a table as he turned and moved to follow Richard to the bedroom. Normally he would keep his hands to himself, yet he felt a sort of odd need for connection. His fingers reached out so he could wrap his hand gently around Richard's scarred wrist as they moved to the bedroom.]
Are you planning on training in the woods today or remaining around your property?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 07:19 pm (UTC)Richard waits for Silco to walk up to him before pushing the door open to let them inside of his room. He briefly looks at the hand reaching out to his own, fingers curling around his slender wrist.]
I'll stay in. I'm too tired for training today. [He says softly as they enter. Then, letting go of the edges of the towel and allowing it to slide off his shoulders, he stepped in closer and brought his hand to grasp on the one that was holding on his wrist.] You do not understand that you are the only one I am allowing this? I am not shutting you out.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-09 11:08 pm (UTC)So he was very familiar with the bedroom, yet he paused from progressing further when Richard closed the paltry distance between them. He felt the warm hand covering his own a moment later, yet his mismatched gazed met with his lover's equally mismatched one.] Don't I? I'm aware of your need for secrecy.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-11 01:49 am (UTC)[Even Catesby, the man who had been standing by his side ever since of his childhood, needed a permission before entering his chamber. Either his or Buckingham's, who hold the only spare key to his chambers. Silco might understand the need for the privacy, yes. But his requests in the assistance, be they subtle or direct, such as with the towel and dressing up, are not born out of arrogance but the trust that he is not willing to give to just anyone.] I respect you.
What did you want to talk about?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-11 02:23 am (UTC)He made a soft noise of acknowledge in his throat, nodding his head a little. They had had plenty of casual conversations, some delving into sensitive topics, but it was these small signs that there was something budding that both thrilled and absolutely terrified him.] I appreciate your candor. Most respect me because they are afraid of me and what I may do. I don't sense the same when it comes to you.
[He leaned down their height difference so that he could rest his forehead against Richard's, staring into those mismatched eyes.] If I make you uncomfortable or push you too hard, I would like you to tell me. I've noticed that you will often go silent to me. I want to know what you're thinking... which is rare because most people are easy enough to read or guess their motivations. You... are intriguing and I want you to feel you can challenge me.
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-11 03:16 am (UTC)If things were any different between them Richard supposes he could share the sentiment as those 'most' that Silco describes. He recognizes the potential and silent strength of the man, knowing that he would make a dangerous and remarkable enemy. Not someone to be taken lightly, at all. But in this world? No. Richard had not seen any reason for him to be fearful of the man and his power, not even when he had offered his secret and trust to him on a silver platter.
There is.. something very familiar in Silco's words. Tugging at painful feeling that he had tried to destroy with all his might. But there it was again, threatening to bring about yet another cursed memory.
"The person I like is you. Just as you are." Those damned blue eyes looking at him with all the love and gentleness of the world, seeing nothing but him on that moment. Henry had, also, once tried to get words out of him -- carefully luring him into the daylight from his dark hiding place.
Richard licks his lips and swallows air, looking up at Silco's eyes.]
And.. And what if I have nothing to say? [Not entirely true most of the times. In fact, it usually it was the opposite with Joan and other voices preoccupying his mind and thoughts. Leaving him to struggle through demons and their whispers as he tried to find the path out of the maze that is his own, fragmented mind.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-11 03:29 am (UTC)[He remained close, opposite to his usual antics. While he didn't deny that the power dynamics of the conversation were likely in his favour, he had no doubt that Richard - regardless of being naked - could take him down without much, if any effort. They had never fought, of course. Even play fighting was not the sort of antics that they degraded themselves to. Still, being physically close was important.
His blue eye remained steady in return, gazing thoughtfully as he considered the question. The back of his hand moved to stroke up and down Richard's neck where it was held.]
I would appreciate you telling me so. Unfortunately, I wasn't born with the ability to read minds, and we both know that our minds are where they greatest traps exist. Around and around we may go with no resolution. [Communication was something he had lacked in his youth; now, he was too controlling in his own behaviours to not understand the value of the word.]
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-11 04:04 am (UTC)But the push hadn't become a shove just yet, and after a brief moment of silence Richard finally answers:] No. [A quick hesitation as he tries to connect he feelings into words.] But there is no circle. Only you.
[Richard is fully aware that this is not his strongest suit. It, again, makes him miss the presence of his other half. Buckingham had always just somehow been able to understand him, seen through his mask and just knew. He misses the confidence that his kingmaker would give him, his hand and touch guiding him through these struggles, and somehow bring the best out of him.]
And what is the nature of your own traps?
(no subject)
Date: 2024-10-11 04:25 am (UTC)Only me? [He repeated that to confirm to himself what he had just heard. It was followed by a seemingly strange tightening in his chest, and his hand moved from the side to the back of Richard's neck to rest there.] Two monsters lurking in the safety of the dark together, it seems. I value your trust.
[He lifted his forehead away at the question; it was very, very personal. What sort of traps awaited him when he closed his eye, hmm? While he had meant it broadly, he was aware of some of his mental pitfalls, yet others remained lurking in the dark undermining him now and again.]
I expect the same as everyone in that there are mental twisting to erode confidence. [Again broad, but he knew that wasn't good enough, not here in the privacy when if he was to expect trust and honesty, he had to give it first to showcase his own vulnerabilities.] When you go silent, I expect you're on the verge of ending this. Perhaps... if I push you hard enough, the expectations that I don't deserve whatever this is comes true as it has over and over in the past.
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